Some personal Context

Last year(since last paryushan) was very productive for me in terms of spirituality. I not only got to dig deep into complex topics like Dravyanuyog, Karmvaad - Acharya Mahapragya ji, 1. Karma Types and Subtypes and a lot of small topics here and there, but I also was able to make connected notes on Obsidian that eased up my learning bucket list and enabled me to dig deep into topics without fearing about losing track of my train of thoughts. This note making system has helped me a lot!

Looking back I feel I was able to do it because of two things:

1. My habit of binging a lot of TV series, Animes and Movies at long stretches. I think that allowed me to make time out of my normal routine and also stay at something for a long long time. It helped me stay hooked to a thing without losing interest even when going through the mediocre or boring bits.
2. And second was taking saugandh (last samvatsari) from binging em. The vaccum that its absence created, allowed me to tap into studying jainism and a lot of other things that I wanted to study.

Saugandh - "Fake it till you make it" of spirituality ?

Whenever I think of saugandh, I often feel it to be a "fake it till you make it" approach. And it lowkey feels weak.
It's like accepting that you are an addict who cannot control yourself all the time hence you have to deploy Saugandh as a tool to keep you away.
It feels like accepting your lack of vigilance.
It feels like suppression.

But I have done this dance before, infact most of us have! Deactivating socials or uninstalling apps to take a break, reactivating it thinking we are strong and we can control ourselves.... Failing at it only to deactivate after some guilt trip...

While studying Gunsthan as part of Karmagranth 2 I got to see the emphasis given on Upsham vs Kshey.
I looked at Gunsthan#11. Upashant Kasay (Suppressed Passions) and I smirked, thinking what's the point of going to level 11 only to fall again lower. Suppression felt like a weak player's tool. A delusionary tactic, a temporary solution.

But there is some merit to it !

Be it Sansarik or Adhyatmik, once you get a taste of how a higher state feels, you understand why it is worth pursuing. You get some real motivation, coz no words or imagination can be as motivating as feeling it for real!
Now that my saugandh was lifted, I started watching some movies, and could see the old binging muscles kicking in, leading to late nighters followed by guilt trips around "I could have studied" instead.
And this guilt trip is stronger than before, because I had tasted the efficient studying version of myself. Helps me get back to studying faster.

Saugandh as a tool, not a weakness

The more I think about it, the more I see saugandh as a tool for managing my own vulnerabilities.

Think about what happens when we don't take a vow. We keep negotiating with ourselves.

"Just one episode."
"I'll stop after this movie."
"I deserve a break today."

Every time, we reopen a decision that we have already made a hundred times before. And sometimes, the craving wins simply because we are tired of fighting it.

A saugandh can simplify this. Instead of making the same decision repeatedly, we establish a boundary beforehand. When the craving arises, we don't have to debate it all over again.

This doesn't mean the craving disappears, or that taking a vow magically eliminates the underlying Mohaniya Karma. It simply gives us a structure within which we can practise restraint more consistently.

There is also a deeper Jain perspective here. Asrav is not just about what we physically do. Asrav#4. Kasaya also matter in karmic bondage, and Asrav#2. Avirati or non-restraint, is one of the causes associated with Ashrav.

So even when two people outwardly avoid the same activity, the underlying state of restraint may differ. A vow makes the renunciation explicit rather than leaving it as a decision to be reconsidered whenever the situation changes.

And perhaps this is where saugandh becomes more than a tool for Samvar.

When we encounter a craving and endure the discomfort without reacting with anger, frustration or attachment, we get an opportunity to work towards Nirjara as well. The restraint itself doesn't guarantee Nirjara, but how we respond to the discomfort matters.

For me, this changes the question entirely.

Instead of asking, "Why do I need a vow if I should be strong enough to control myself?", I can ask, "Why spend all my energy fighting the same battle when I can create a boundary and be free from it and use that energy for deeper work?"

The goal isn't to collect as many vows as possible. It is to use restraint intelligently, so that we have more room to work on the passions beneath our habits.

And that brings me back to the original question: if saugandh is a tool that helps us practise restraint, can temporary suppression eventually help us reach a state where that restraint comes naturally?

Decision time!

When my saugandh about movies series and animes ended this samvatsari, I decided to see if I have really won over my cravings for em or not. And most importantly can I continue my saadhna at same pace without the Saugandh?

The bright side to watching stuff is that I can take out positives from em! I analyse stuff deeply, and I mostly do not get emotionally absorbed in the plot and avoid indulging in it with kashay. My analysis often helps me spot tirelessness, righteousness, POV hopping, etc in the characters. Which can help in saadhna too!

But its all very dilute and along with the good stuff a lot of garbage comes in, which can seep into subconcious, and create biases and what not. (And no its not about good and wholesome stuff vs brutal stuff, we can derive ill and value out of both and in great magnitudes of effect as well, our brains and subconcious can play dirty games, a topic for another time maybe).

There are a lot of better materials to seek out good stuff, I do not have to get it from movies, series and animes only! There are plenty of more optimal sources.

The scary part is cravings led by Mohniye Karm King of all karma is tricky, you end up justifying your cravings by a lot of reasons ! So I guess I will have to deploy saugandh tool again!

Does that make me weak?
NO!
It enables me to dig deeper into spirituality and become stronger!

This boils down to picking your battles, if I can minimize distractions by suppressing the nimitts, or suppressing my mohniye karm, then I can get enough room to work on doing nirjara, and genuinely shedding them.
And that is what Kshayopsham is all about!

It goes beyond "not doing it"

It goes beyond "not doing it", it helps us avoid the feeling of regret of not doing something as well !

It is like how anumodna of something good is good for our soul, likewise the opposite - regret of not doing something bad is bad for our soul(yea it's a complex sentence, too many negatives, read that again).
If we take saugandh, then we might still have the craving but we won't regret not doing that thing coz we have willfully taken saugandh.

Let's take another perspective

There are few things that we suppress thinking this is ideal and good for us, but often times it just works at a surface level and deep down that feeling might be assisted with the feeling of inferiority and helplessness.

For eg, being a minimalist and not building a lot of wealth can come from the genuine understanding of importance and utility of having less possessions. But it might be subconsciously aided by the fear of failing at building wealth, self doubt and helplessness.
This can be beyond money as well, think about love! One might take the path of brahmcharya from the understanding of spiritituality to not indulge in any of the three ved but deep down one might have the feeling of not being attractive enough !

And it is hard to dig deep into subconcious to detect it and clear it off!

There is a famous line from Ramdhari Singh Dinkar around this :

क्षमा शोभती उस भुजंग को, जिसके पास गरल हो।
उसको क्या, जो दंतहीन, विषरहित, विनीत, सरल हो॥

Which emphasises on the fact that a venomous snake (bhujang) deserves praise if it chooses not to bite. However, if a snake is toothless and harmless, its "peaceful nature" is not a virtue, it is just helplessness.

And if you think about it, all the tirthankars and great sages, were super rich and powerful! They were all super beautiful, had wives and beautiful familes, and then they decided to give it all up !

That giving up is often the purest !

Conclusion

Having seen so many episodes of Uday of Mohniye karma and analysing em in my journalling, I can genuinely feel upsham is temporary.

And I can feel the urgency and need to put in efforts to shed the karmas, faking it won't work, it often works at surface level ( which can be even more dangerous, coz it can lead to maan, and the ailment will).

So the whole fake it till you make it only makes sense if you figure out a way to make use of the temporary suppressed period to actually shed the karmas. And in some cases, maybe becoming the bhujang with garal is the way to goo to make sure you get rid of anything sticking back in your subconcious, or maybe amp up your game in meditation and cleamn your subconcious, or maybe a mix of all!